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Debra Stine's avatar

This is such good guidance. “How Minds Change” by David McRaney is an excellent book about this approach introduced to me by Hank Green. It takes effort on my part in these conversations not to use facts, but seek empathy.

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Elisabeth Marnik, PhD's avatar

I haven’t heard of this book but adding it to my list!

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Shelly Snyder's avatar

This is very smart and helpful. Thank you

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Elisabeth Marnik, PhD's avatar

I’m glad. 💕💕

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Jacob Gardner's avatar

This is a very good article. A lot of political accounts on here could learn from this advice.

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Elisabeth Marnik, PhD's avatar

Thank you

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Chelsey Sterling's avatar

Thank you for this!!!

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Dr. Benjamin Koch's avatar

This is such a masterful and generous blueprint - not just for conversation, but for presence in a world that often rewards performance instead of listening.

What you’ve described isn’t just good science communication. It’s emotional engineering at its most humane. It’s the shift from persuasion to participation - from correcting others to co-holding the complexity of why people believe what they do.

Your haiku says it all:

Empathy is the opening.

Condescension is noise.

Kindness is design.

What I love most is how you’ve mapped out the internal scaffolding needed to remain clear while staying soft. That’s no small task - especially for those of us trained to lead with data and end with debate.

The genius of your method is that it works not because it bypasses hard truths, but because it allows them to land in safe relational containers. And that’s where real shift happens - not through force, but through structure.

Thank you for the clarity, the nuance, and the lived example.

This isn’t just how we talk to others. It’s how we build the conditions for trust in a world that desperately needs repair.

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Elisabeth Marnik, PhD's avatar

Thank you. 💕

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Holly B.'s avatar

Such a great post. I try to follow all of these principles as well. But...it's so hard sometimes. Great reminders here.

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