The reason my mom didn’t vaccinate her kids is one of the same reasons I chose to vaccinate mine.
The intersection of my childhood and my career in science
It has been far too long since I sent a newsletter out, and for that, I apologize. Life this past year has been all the things—good, hard, stressful, happy, and so busy. I also struggled with burnout for a big part of last summer, which is why I disappeared from many places online. Things are in a better place now, and I am finding a balance between my educational work online and my actual paid work.
I recently resigned from my academic faculty position to pivot into doing science outreach and education work full-time. You can hear a bit more about it on my saved Instagram highlight, and I will likely share more about my thoughts on making this switch in the future. For now, my goal is to get more consistent here.
Today’s post was inspired by some reflection on my experiences growing up, my experiences parenting, my career in science and the intersection of all three. So let’s dive in.
The reason my mom didn’t vaccinate her kids is one of the same reasons I chose to vaccinate mine.
Does that sound weird to you? I will explain.
If you’re new here, you may not be aware of my upbringing. So here’s the quick version: I was raised in an evangelical Christian family. I was in public school for K-4, then homeschooled, then went to a private Christian school for a few years, and then public school to finish out 11th and 12th grade. My mom primarily raised me after my parents separated when I was a pre-teen. I was not vaccinated growing up because my family was anti-vaccine (though, after more reflection, it likely began as vaccine hesitancy that moved to anti-vaccination).
I found science through some well-placed teachers who saw my potential and encouraged me to explore careers in science. Science was never something that was mentioned or brought up at home. Without them I never would have known a career in science was an option for me. With their help I applied and got into college where I pursued a degree in Biochemistry. Through my time there, I learned things that made me realize I couldn’t continue to pursue science and remain unvaccinated. So, in my twenties, before I started my Ph.D., I went and got all of my vaccines. Up until that point, I had never received any vaccinations at all.
As I continued to pursue my education, my Ph.D. research began to focus on immunology. The more I learned, the more I didn’t understand why my parents made the decision not to vaccinate my brother or I. It was a big point of contention between my mom and I once she heard I had gotten vaccinated.
Then I got pregnant and had my first child. Becoming a mother gave me so much compassion for my own mother. It is HARD. It is hard to have a new life completely and utterly dependent on you to keep them safe. Of course, I was going to vaccinate him because it was one of the ways I could help protect him from a world of infectious diseases that often killed children before they were five. I know this science. For me this was an obvious and easy decision.
But becoming a mother made me realize something really important: the reason my mom didn’t vaccinate her kids is one of the same reasons I vaccinated mine—a desire to keep them safe.
As parents, we are all tasked with the responsibility to do the best we can to keep our children safe. My mom had many unfortunate life experiences, and she didn’t (and still doesn’t) have a background in science at all. She had heard many scary things about vaccination, and her pediatrician shamed her when she brought up concerns and did not give her any answers she could understand. So she did what she thought was best. She chose not to vaccinate my brother or I in an effort to keep us safe.
I can no longer fault her for that decision, even though it is one I now disagree with. Though my perspective is now from a place of privilege and knowledge. If I hadn’t become a scientist I doubt my perspective would have changed.
My experience becoming a parent has given me immense compassion for other parents. We now live in a society where it is even harder to know what is or is not accurate. It can be scary for new parents when navigating decisions regarding their child. Those of us with science and medical training can easily navigate the literature to find out for ourselves—but that is not true for most people, and it makes it so hard for families to navigate false information today. So, sometimes, the safest option for some families seems to be to do nothing and not vaccinate. However, that isn’t the truly safest option for most people.
Just this week, Ontario, Canada, reported the first measles death in over a decade. It was, unfortunately, an unvaccinated child. We do not know why the child was unvaccinated, but measles deaths are preventable thanks to a safe and effective vaccine. Measles cases are increasing globally due to declining vaccination rates. This means more individuals will die of measles in the coming years if this trend doesn’t reverse.
So why am I sharing this?
Most of you reading this are likely pro-science. You may be very frustrated by people around you choosing not to vaccinate their children. I get it. My hope is to inspire you to meet them with compassion, to build relationships, to perhaps help them find answers to their questions and concerns.
I sometimes wonder what would have happened if my mom’s pediatrician hadn’t shamed her when she expressed concerns about vaccinating me as an infant. How much would have been different if people had met her where she was, listened to her concerns, and offered her information in ways she could understand?
I cannot go back in time, but I can help encourage all of us to meet questions with compassion and understanding.
We are all aiming to keep our children safe in a society that makes it increasingly hard to parent.
Feel free to drop your questions or concerns below, or if you consistently hear the same concerns from friends who are not vaccinating their kids drop those below too so I can add them to my list to address.
More soon!
Have you been successful in convincing your mother that vaccines are helpful?
I appreciate these conversations and also the phrase “vaccine hesitant.” Can this post be balanced with the information of the harm of some of these vaccines as well? At this point some of the risks seem to outweigh the potential benefits in at least their likelihood and frequency. It seems there aren’t full conversations happening, just pieces here and there.
I do agree that perhaps if doctors and those offering vaccines had better conversations about these things and were truly informed and informing, perhaps more would be less hesitant.. or more hesitant. I stand in the “I don’t know” field at this point.